Slowly Dying (or how I was bullied into doing a Sherlock-Pilot review)

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For fueschgast, who... errr... persuaded me into re-watching and doing a review of the unaired Sherlock BBC Pilot. Also? It's late. I'm tired. I've had too much caffeine. Did I mention I'm tired?  

Sherlock pilot review:

It’s been pointed out already, but it is ANNOYING that we don’t get to see John’s dreams.

Also, the room he’s in is way too bright. I want isolated!cell John. And I don’t think he looks… tired enough. He isn’t worn out properly (aw, poor John)

I do like how he says ‘nothing happens to me’ though. Still.

Anderson has a beard. A BEARD! NO! NO NO!

Also, I hate it when they show the credit titles when the episode has started. You know, so it’s filling up the pictures while Lestrade and Anderson is talking. I know that a lot – talk almost everyone – shows do that, but it still bugs me. Every. Single. Time.

‘We can absolutely handle it’ haha, yeah as if Anderson.

I sort of like the Mike-John scene better here. Sorry. I dunno, I guess it just fits better with my view of John that he’s walking down a crowded street instead of through a park. Also, he looks kind of like he’s stressed out about there being so many people and noise and it fits with being an ex-soldier. I do however like that they’re in a park instead of a restaurant in ASiP.

‘Donated his body’. Ah, no, really Molly? I sort of like that they don’t mention this in ASiP, it makes it all so much more morbid. Also, Molly, you don’t sound naïve and innocent and sweet enough. You sound like a normal person. Molly works with dead people and has a crush on a sociopath. She isn’t normal.

Alright, so the clothes are more Sherlock-y in ASiP, but damn does Benedict look hot in that first scene. I’m melting. Seriously melting. Melting Melting Melting *melts*

So, I’m supposed to be reviewing, but I keep getting distracted by Benedict’s neck *drools*. Sorry

Haha, I sort of like Molly being all: ‘it… wasn’t working for me’, like she’s aware that he knows what the hell she’s talking about, as opposed to in ASiP. I think that only made sense in my head.

So, Sherlock needs to have black hair and not wear those jeans, but dammit dammit dammit, how I think Benedict is cute here also. It’s messing up my brain and this craptastic episode is gaining at least two stars merely because of him.

I’m so happy they changed it to them meeting in a lab instead of with all the computers. In the very original A study in Scarlet, they meet in a lab. This is how it is folks. *purist*

Probably pointed out a dozen time, but Benedict is playing Sherlock a bit too emotionally. When he says ‘gotta dash, I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary’, he’s sort of laughing at himself, like it’s a joke. Also, he isn’t arrogant enough here. I’m so happy you got a chance to do it better!

I’ve rambled a lot about Benedict, so I should point out that I am also displeased with Martin’s portrayal. It’s just missing something – probably the angst (aaahh, the angst). He’s still got that warm quality, which I think is just Martin though. It’s what’s makes him perfect for playing Watson.

Without the darker hair, Benedict’s eyes look really blue and I’m loving it.

AAAH! The flowery dress Mrs. Hudson is wearing NEEDS TO DIE. Sorry to people who like it – I’m so dramatic with these things J

So, apparently, Martin’s role as Bilbo was settled already here. What the hell happened to their apartment? This is Baker Street, not Bag’s End for christ’s… it looks like my grandmother’s home!!

Mrs. Hudson sounds much more like she’s insinuating things with the ‘if you’ll be needing two bedrooms’ ;)

She’s still not your housekeeper, though <3

Oh, shaky London-by-night view. And they’re stoning away in the cab.

Ah, no-no, when Sherlock says ‘piss off’ it could sound as if he’s telling John to piss off, and he’s noooot! (small detail, might just be my head, but still… no-no Benedict!)

Sally neither looks nor sounds as bitchy here as in ASiP. I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

Aw, Sherlock don’t be so snarky with Lestrade.

Hehe. John is writing it down. Hehe. Hehe. Alright… no… seriously. This is making me so happy.

Also, the dead lady’s clothes are even uglier than in ASiP. Didn’t think it was possible. It is.

‘Your funny little brains’. Hehe. Hehe. God, I’m over-dosing on Cola. Sorry. I’ll have something coherent to say in a minute.

I HATE that they left out the ‘Rachel’ thing. It was brilliant, and we don’t get to see Sherlock slam the door in Anderson’s face. This episode is making me sad.

“Do you know you do that out loud?” “Sorry, I’ll shut up.” “No, it’s… it’s fine.” Yeah, Sherlock, it’s more than fine. We know you and your ego well enough honey

‘Houston, we have a mistake’. NO NO SHERLOCK NO! Wasn’t ‘round and round the garden like a teddy bear’ bad enough? You do not make pop culture references – I can forgive the lullaby, but not that!!

“Psychopath’s get bored.” They didn’t keep that, did they? They should have. Also, John don’t bloody thank her! That’s not Watson-like – you’re loyal to a fault!

Oh god. Sherlock on the roof with the moon-light and John all lokey? My slash-senses just ran amok sorry.

Aw, no Mycroft. This always makes me sad. There needs to be more Mycroft. There needs to be an epsode entirely devoted to Mycroft. Just one. Please <3

“It’s a three patch problem.” You might be ginger and wearing jeans, but you’re still Sherlock, deep down inside <3

Haha, when Sherlock jumps off the dumpster, he soo looks like the Dark Avenger. I’m dying here. Honestly.

“Who did I just text?” Haha, John. Try to sound a bit more distressed ;) or not.

I like the ‘dammiiiit’ though.

Psssst, Sherlock. I love when you’re talking about serial killers and are describing yourself.

I miss Angelo. I need that scene. “You did go to prison.” Hahaaaa.

I like the ‘everything else is transport’ line.

Oh, the whole ‘I’m flattered, but I’m not…’ exchange is so much more AWKWARD here. I’d forgotten how truly awkward. Soo awkward.

Sorry, it’s a good point, but I’m cracking up over ‘invisible car’. Why yes, Sherlock Holmes is Batman.

“Headless nun.” Haha, haha, haha. Also, ‘bad news for bad people’. I love this. And him hammering on the window. Sooo great.

Seee, this is why Sherlock fucking needs John. Because he isn’t perfect.

Okay, the whole ‘ohmigod, I drug you and take you to your flat and fucking light the fire’ has such a rapey feeling to it. I’d gladly give up Sherlock playing drunk and then not have this. Did I mention how much I love ASiP already?

“People like to die at home.” I don’t think anyone likes to die, particularly. Sure, if they have a horrible life or is in horrible pain. But then, I don’t really think it matters where you are. Lame line is lame.

“As serial killers go, I’m verging on nice.” So, I don’t want to be the one to agree with the mad-hat cabbie, but at least he isn’t severing limbs or slowly choking them to death, so this is sort of true.

I love how Sherlock is all drugged up and out of focus, and then all of the sudden his eyes are just clear and he says: ‘You’re dying… aren’t you?’ That’s great acting, people, even if I’m still not loving this episode.

So, I kind of get the ‘any breath could be my last, so let’s live life on an adrenaline-high’, only I’d go bungee jumping and mountain-climbing and swimming with sharks, not murdering people. I think ;)

‘I choose for you and I force it down your throat’. Um… honestly… you’re an old man, and even if Sherlock is all drugged up, I’m pretty sure he can still put up a fight. You need to have your gun back, baby, even if it was just a fake. This is just too un-realistic.

Shock blanket is brilliant <3 I’m so glad it made the cut to ASiP as well.

I love the ‘I’m his doctor’ part. I love it. Simply love it.

Again, missing Mycroft this episode. Mainly for the whole ‘mommy’ and the ‘you can imagine the family dinners’ and John being all: ‘no’, because… I can’t either, and if I can, it’s sure to be frightening.

Aw, Mrs. Hudson. I feel so sorry for you <3

God, it does sort of grow on you. It wasn’t as horrible as the first time I watched it. Still, glad it’s an unaired pilot and they changed ASiP ;)