Fic: An Unfree World (Merlin BBC)

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Title:  An Unfree World
Characters/Pairings: Gwen/Arthur, mentions of Merlin
Rating&Warnings: PG13 - spoilers for the entire third season.
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Friendship
Word-count:  1,192
Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin, the happenings in this fic would have already... well, happened.
Summary: Uther is dead, Arthur is King and Merlin has been banished after his secret is revealed. Guinevere is determined to talk sense back into Arthur. Short ficlet on what-could-be


 

 

 

 

 

An Unfree World

 

”When are you going to let him come back?” The words are half-way whispered, but still with a strong undertone, a sure sign that Gwen has wanted to say this for a while, but had only now found the proper moment.

There’s no reason to ask who ‘he’ is.

“I might not be,” Arthur replies and she can feel hot anger coursing through her at his words. She suppressed it, reminding herself that this, the newly crowned King of Camelot, is the man she loves, the man who has just recently been through hell as his father died and he discovered the hidden powers of his servant.

“That isn’t right. You know it isn’t.” She says instead, hoping to keep her tone gentle, but some of the anger slips through anyway. She can’t help it; Merlin is her friend, too.

“I am King now,” He hisses. “I can decide what is right and what isn’t.”

“No, you can’t!” The words slip out before she can stop them, loud and filled with rage, and she can see how surprised he is. Maybe it isn’t fair, because she knows that he doesn’t mean it, that right now he is too clouded by grief and hurt to think properly. But he is the King, dammit and he wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for the man he has banished. “Merlin is your best friend. You cannot just cut him out of our lives.”

“He betrayed me!” Arthur stands, fist clenched at his side. “He has lied to me, all these years! Used his position, used magic…”

“To save your life.” Gwen interrupts, this time succeeding in sounding gentler. “All he has ever done, ever since he got here, was save your life, Arthur.”

Pride battling with his grief now. “I do not need saving.”

Gwen bites her lip, looking at his broad back as he turns around, staring out the window. This would be easier if she wasn’t hurting too: if the revelation, not just the magic part, but the most powerful warlock in all of history part, hadn’t pulled the ground out from under her feet too. She’d know how to deal with Arthur then, how to placate him and convince him of the best. But right now she is hurting and angry at Arthur for acting on emotion instead of proper judgment and for being too much like his father.

“Everyone needs saving. And all Merlin ever did, he did because he cared for you.”

“He lied to me.”

She gingerly steps forward. “Only because he had to. Your father would have killed him had he known: you know this.”

“Yes, my father would. How can he think… even after all those years: how could he still think that I would… that I wouldn’t even give him a chance…”

“Because you wouldn’t have.” Gwen says and he flinches, because he knows that she’s right. “After all the lies, after Morgause and Morgana and your father’s constant fear, you would not have given him a chance. Perhaps you would have spared his life, but you would have sent him away, like you have now and then you would be dead.”

“I took care of myself for nearly twenty years before he came along!”

“Yes, and you wouldn’t have survived more than that if he hadn’t!” Gwen nearly shouts, impatience running its course through her.

“How can I ever trust him again, knowing that he kept this from me?” Arthur yells back, spinning around to face her. The lines on his face make him seem ten years older than he is, and it’s all she can do not to run forward and hold him.

Shouting won’t help. Accusing him won’t help either. Gwen takes a deep breath and finds a new means of attack.

“Arthur, all those time when we were together in secret and you wanted to tell your father – was that not anguish, knowing that you couldn’t? That you… that you where betraying his trust by keeping this from him?” His eyes soften slightly, and he gives a court nod, his jaw still clenched. “And then when you did tell him, after he found us in the woods… did he not react in exactly the way you feared he would? And did you not, afterwards, continue to keep that secret from him, knowing that – for the time being – that was for the better?”

Enemy defeated. Arthur sinks back down on the chair with a deep, heaving sigh, hands raking through his hair, his head bend towards the floor.

“You’re right. Of course you’re right. I just don’t… I can’t….”

She kneels by the chair, gently taking one of his hands between hers. “Imagine living all these years, hiding such a huge part of yourself, never getting credit for your deeds, always passing the honor to someone else. No matter what you might think of magic, Merlin is not evil.”

“Stop,” Arthur mumbles, fingers intertwining with hers. She’s always liked it when he does that; likes the contrast between his pale, slim digits and her brown skin. Their hands are rough, hers from scrubbing floors and his from gripping sword and shield. He sighs again, moving forward and leaning his forehead against hers.

“I’ve been a fool.”

“You have an excuse. Sometimes the truth hurts the most. For all of us.”

“He must’ve been so scared when he told me. And I reacted in the worst possible way.”

“He understands that.”

“It’s despicable. How can I ask him to come back now?”

“He’ll forgive you.” She can’t help a smile from spreading across her face. “You’re forgetting that it’s Merlin: of course he’ll forgive you.”

Arthur mumbles something into her hair, his posture finally relaxing a little.

“I can’t believe… every time I’ve yelled at him, mocked him, kicked him around. Made him do the most obscure things… and all this time, he could just wave his hand and make me fall flat on my arse or… I don’t know… make me look like an idiot in front of everyone.”

Gwen giggles. “Maybe he didn’t think you needed any help with that.”

“Hey!” Arthur protests, lifting his head and giving her a half-glare, half hurt look. But the smile on his face is beautiful and the first real one since Uther’s dead and it makes butterflies dance in her stomach.

“Sorry,” She whispers, moving closer. “And yes, Merlin has been very gallant considering your behavior of him.”

“Don’t make me feel guiltier than I already am,” He grumbles. “And don’t mention to Merlin that I even said the word ‘guilty’.”

She frowns. “But you will apologize to him?”

“Of course – do you really think so little of me?” He asks, glaring. “I know I’ve been an ass to Merlin on several occasions, and I cannot promise that I will just stop now that it has become habit. But…”

“He’s your friend.” Gwen finishes for him. “He is the best and most loyal friend you have ever had, Arthur. And you should not forget that.”

He smiles and leans down to steal a quick kiss from her. “I know. I promise I won’t forget that again.”