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keep_countingSecond up in the 'Nana Does Christmas', this time requested by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sspring92, with the prompt: Remus/Tonks - Post transformation fic
Title: Once
Characters/Pairings: Remus/Tonks
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Dark imaginary, angst
Genre: Angst/Hurt-Comfort/Romance
Word-count: 758
A/N: Christmas prompt forsspring92=)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in relation to this
Summary: After the full-moon, Tonks desperately wants to be there for Remus. But will he let her?
It’s foggy outside, heavy masses of grey hanging over the shiny white of the snow on the ground. It looks beautiful and frightening at the same time, and Tonks can’t help but compare it in her mind, compare it to the nightmare of a few hours ago and compare it to the bleeding and broken man in front of her.
He’s going to be mad when he finds out that she let him out of the cage, but there’s not really much he can do about it. The sun was rising when she’d done it, there had been no risk. And he’d been shaking so much, been moaning in pain and she couldn’t just let him be that way. So alone.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Tonks mutters, wrapping up his wounds. If only magic worked, if only magic could make the scars go away completely, if only magic could make sure that this wouldn’t have happened at all. That this infection, this disease wouldn’t have touched him in the first place. Wouldn’t touch anyone.
She’s not even aware that he’s awake until he suddenly grips her wrist, surprisingly strong hold stopping her from continuing her treatment of his injuries. Tonks gasps and jumps a little, managing to knock over a mug of tea in the process. The liquid spills out on the already messy carpet, soaking it and making a stain that she probably can’t fix either.
Looking down into Remus’ dark and terrified eyes, it seems she can’t fix anything.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dry from howling and screaming under a full moon. “You shouldn’t be here.”
And that’s right. She shouldn’t, but she is. She was supposed to be with Kingsley, in fact, but she’d made an excuse, knowing what last night was, knowing that he would be going through this alone.
“You shouldn’t have to be alone,” she quietly says, and his face twists into a mask of pain, years of loneliness and sorrow and then he laughs, sits upright despite the wounds and laughs at her until he starts coughing, unable to breathe anymore. She gently pats his back with tears in her eyes, being carefully not to touch the wounds, not to touch the poorly done bandages she had made, a gesture in the best of intentions but with no hope of a better outcome.
“I’m always alone,” he mutters, wiping blood away from his face. She can’t even remember how it got there, if it was when he slashed himself or from her own hands. They both realize it at the same time, that her hands are red with his blood and it’s an awkward and strangely intimate moment. When his eyes flicker to the ground, she realizes that she’s the one standing on top, that she’s seen him at his most vulnerable – the moment when he loathes himself the most – and that he is shy, is embarrassed, is horrified at that.
“It’s alright. I want to help,” Tonks mutters and he looks angry again and she has to remind herself that despite the age difference and her hopeless crush on him, she is an Auror, and a good one at that, and she is his friend, and so, she thinks she has a right to be here.
“You shouldn’t be so stubborn about it. I was careful, and even if I am a poor nurse it’s better than nothing. You can’t say anything to convince me that I shouldn’t help a friend.”
Okay, so she sounds like a petulant child saying that, but she doesn’t care, especially not when his lips twitch a bit, perhaps in mockery of her – but still a smile.
“I don’t… expect anything,” Tonks muttered. She isn’t completely sure what she talks about, if it’s general gratitude or a kiss in exchange. Though a kiss would be nice – far more than nice – she knows that’s not what she’ll get, and he needs to understand that she knows that, even if she doesn’t accept it.
“You shouldn’t come,” Remus says. “You have duties to perform. There are things more important than me out there.”
She disagrees, but it won’t do anything to say it.
“I could be here tonight. I wanted to be here tonight,” she tentatively leans out a hand to rest on his shoulder, scared that he’ll shake it off. Will walk away from her, like he always does. “Is that alright?”
He almost smiles. “Yeah. Just this once.”
After all, he needs this as much as she does.
sspring92, with the prompt: Remus/Tonks - Post transformation ficTitle: Once
Characters/Pairings: Remus/Tonks
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Dark imaginary, angst
Genre: Angst/Hurt-Comfort/Romance
Word-count: 758
A/N: Christmas prompt for
sspring92=)Disclaimer: I don't own anything in relation to this
Summary: After the full-moon, Tonks desperately wants to be there for Remus. But will he let her?
It’s foggy outside, heavy masses of grey hanging over the shiny white of the snow on the ground. It looks beautiful and frightening at the same time, and Tonks can’t help but compare it in her mind, compare it to the nightmare of a few hours ago and compare it to the bleeding and broken man in front of her.
He’s going to be mad when he finds out that she let him out of the cage, but there’s not really much he can do about it. The sun was rising when she’d done it, there had been no risk. And he’d been shaking so much, been moaning in pain and she couldn’t just let him be that way. So alone.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Tonks mutters, wrapping up his wounds. If only magic worked, if only magic could make the scars go away completely, if only magic could make sure that this wouldn’t have happened at all. That this infection, this disease wouldn’t have touched him in the first place. Wouldn’t touch anyone.
She’s not even aware that he’s awake until he suddenly grips her wrist, surprisingly strong hold stopping her from continuing her treatment of his injuries. Tonks gasps and jumps a little, managing to knock over a mug of tea in the process. The liquid spills out on the already messy carpet, soaking it and making a stain that she probably can’t fix either.
Looking down into Remus’ dark and terrified eyes, it seems she can’t fix anything.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dry from howling and screaming under a full moon. “You shouldn’t be here.”
And that’s right. She shouldn’t, but she is. She was supposed to be with Kingsley, in fact, but she’d made an excuse, knowing what last night was, knowing that he would be going through this alone.
“You shouldn’t have to be alone,” she quietly says, and his face twists into a mask of pain, years of loneliness and sorrow and then he laughs, sits upright despite the wounds and laughs at her until he starts coughing, unable to breathe anymore. She gently pats his back with tears in her eyes, being carefully not to touch the wounds, not to touch the poorly done bandages she had made, a gesture in the best of intentions but with no hope of a better outcome.
“I’m always alone,” he mutters, wiping blood away from his face. She can’t even remember how it got there, if it was when he slashed himself or from her own hands. They both realize it at the same time, that her hands are red with his blood and it’s an awkward and strangely intimate moment. When his eyes flicker to the ground, she realizes that she’s the one standing on top, that she’s seen him at his most vulnerable – the moment when he loathes himself the most – and that he is shy, is embarrassed, is horrified at that.
“It’s alright. I want to help,” Tonks mutters and he looks angry again and she has to remind herself that despite the age difference and her hopeless crush on him, she is an Auror, and a good one at that, and she is his friend, and so, she thinks she has a right to be here.
“You shouldn’t be so stubborn about it. I was careful, and even if I am a poor nurse it’s better than nothing. You can’t say anything to convince me that I shouldn’t help a friend.”
Okay, so she sounds like a petulant child saying that, but she doesn’t care, especially not when his lips twitch a bit, perhaps in mockery of her – but still a smile.
“I don’t… expect anything,” Tonks muttered. She isn’t completely sure what she talks about, if it’s general gratitude or a kiss in exchange. Though a kiss would be nice – far more than nice – she knows that’s not what she’ll get, and he needs to understand that she knows that, even if she doesn’t accept it.
“You shouldn’t come,” Remus says. “You have duties to perform. There are things more important than me out there.”
She disagrees, but it won’t do anything to say it.
“I could be here tonight. I wanted to be here tonight,” she tentatively leans out a hand to rest on his shoulder, scared that he’ll shake it off. Will walk away from her, like he always does. “Is that alright?”
He almost smiles. “Yeah. Just this once.”
After all, he needs this as much as she does.
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