keep_counting | Fic: Cute Blokes and Aliens (Sherlock/Doctor Who Crossover)

Fifth not-so-secret-Santa, with

fueschgast's prompt; Minnie Hooper from ‘End of Time’ is Molly Hooper’s (from Sherlock) grandmother.

Title: Cute Blokes and Aliens
Characters/Pairings: Molly Hooper, Minnie 'The Menace' Hooper, mentions of Jim Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes, Willfred Mott, Donna Noble & the tenth Doctor
Rating: PG
Warnings: Crack, slight spoilers for 'the End of Time Part I' and 'The Great Game'
Genre: Humor
Word-count: 818
A/N: Christmas prompt for

fueschgast
Disclaimer: I own nothing in relation to this
Summary: Molly gets a call from her grandmother - her decidedly crazy grandmother. Sherlock/Doctor Who crossover

”So how’s it going with that Sherlock-bloke, eh?”

Molly came out with a surprised ‘eeek’ and nearly dropped the pot of tea she was holding, while desperately still trying to balance the phone between her shoulder and her ear.

“Gran!” she muttered, putting the pot on the table and sitting down, checking to see if she had spilled on the carpet anywhere. “’S not like that I told you. He just comes around with some of his work,”

“Oh, but you wouldn’t stop talking about him last time, just went on and on, Sherlock-this and Sherlock-that,”

“Gran!” Molly screeched so loudly that Minnie had to pull the phone a bit away from her. “Would you knock it off already? I told you, nothing is happening. Besides, I’ve got this other bloke now, met him at work. Jim, he’s called. Oh, Gran, he’s so sweet, he…”

“Yeahyeah!” Minnie interrupted, studying her fingernails. “That’s all good and well Molly, but you and I both know that you’ve inherited your taste in men from your mother, and look where that went, eh?”

Molly rolled her eyes. “Yes, look where that went. But I really think you’d liked him,”

“Oh, hush now, if there was anyone I would like it would be this bloke I met the other day! You wouldn’t believe it, Willfred – you remember, Willfred Mott? His granddaughter used to babysit you, you know, but Will, he called us all up…”

“Yeah, Gran, that’s great,” Molly interrupted, intent on not letting her grandmother run away wildly with the conversation. “Listen, are you visiting soon, because I would actually really like you to meet Jim, and I really do think you’d like him. He’s a great bloke,”

“Now Molly, this is silly,” Minnie huffed, annoyed at the interruption. “You have been going on about that Sherlock bloke for bloody years and now you’ve suddenly just found yourself a new one? If he’d heard you only talking about your crush, he must be downright mad to want to go out with you!”

“Gran!” Molly gasped. “What kind of way is that to talk to your only granddaughter?”

“Yes, well, sorry dear, but it’s the truth isn’t it? You know I adore you, but you’ve got your head all wrong chasing after these men. If only you’d let me help you find one…”

“You only meet with old men or really strange ones,” Molly huffed, resisting the urge to cross her arms and poke out her tongue.
Minnie couldn’t see her anyway. “Like, really really strange ones. That Willfred Mott thinks there’s aliens out there.”

“And who are you to say there isn’t? Anyway, enough of this ‘only weird men’ thing, because as I was trying to explain before you so rudely stopped me, I met this really cute bloke in this landfill, that Will took us to because…”

“A landfill? You met him in a landfill, and that isn’t strange?” Molly asked, pouring her tea and desperately trying not to spill it everywhere as a result of this very distracting conversation. “What was he, a homeless guy?”

“Oh no, no, he had this police box...”

“He had this what? Was he a copper?”

“No, no dear!” Minnie tsked, sounding as if Molly was a slow child being lectured. “Will said he was an alien. The Doctor he called him,”

“Gran, you’ve gone mad.”

“No, I haven’t! I saw him and everything! I’ve got a picture if you’d like…”

“You have a picture with you and an alien?”

“Yeah,” Minnie said, on the defensive. “Well, I mean, he didn’t look like an alien – which is my whole point, I don’t know why you bother chasing after that Sherlock, all odd and moody, when there’s blokes like that out there!”

Molly sighed. “I am not chasing after Sherlock anymore. I told you, I’ve got someone else,”

“Yes, and that bloke will probably turn out to be completely mad. Do you remember Andrew? Threw out all your potted plants, didn’t he, said he could hear them talking.”

“It’s not easy finding men when you have the work I do,” Molly sighed, stirring her tea. “And apparently all the other ones are aliens,” she said, snorting a little.

“Now don’t you go making fun of me young lady, every word I’ve said is true!”

“Gran?”

“Yes?”

“Did you take your medicine today?”

Minnie huffed. “I am hanging up now!”

“Okay, goodbye,” Molly grinned as she heard the phone on the other end being slammed. Her grandmother was really too easy getting rid of, especially when she was clearly in one of her odd moods.

Sipping her tea, Molly quietly wondered if maybe she should visit her more often, since being with only the other oldies in town had clearly gotten to her grandmothers head. Smiling and standing up to refill her cup, she completely missed the blue box slowly disappearing from the street outside her house.